Going to the gay bars in my beard and kaftan is the greatest-ever conversation starter. Last night at the Eagle, a very beautiful Black gentleman with a salt-and-pepper beard:

"Jesus!"

"My son."

"You must be all-knowing."

"Naturally, my son, I am omnipotent."

"Then you know today is my birthday!"

"Of course my son. Today, you turn 28."

I think he didn't stop cackling for ten seconds. Pretty sure the dude would have gone home with me that instant if I'd asked