i am a physical coward. always have been, but never more so since my #transition 20 years ago. knowing there's so much political, rhetorical, & sadly also physical violence against those like me, is more intimidating & overwhelming than i have adequate words. sometimes i find myself wondering, though, as merely a thought experiment given it is far removed from brutal reality;

- if in fact there was no nexus twixt rhetorical violence & physical violence, would i be then able to be stronger & braver?
- would i then maybe find a way to rejoin some semblance of public life, beyond my front door?

ofc, i shall never know. this is the real world, & it sucks.

#trans #transthoughts