Most goofy common names for ants:

"Goblin Ants"
"Lesser Sneaking Ant" (If someone called me that I too would become a pest)
"Inch Ant"
"Deceptive Carpenter Ant"
"Karoo Balbyter Ant"
"Common American Thief Ant" (why does everyone think ants are criminal?)
"Uncertain Field Ant"
"Spotted Muscleman Tree Ant" (should be musclewoman tree ant)
"Northern Sharkfinned Dolly Ant"
"Small Pugnacious Ant"
"Large Pugnacious Ant"
"Sordid Cocktail Ant"
"Rapacious Panther Ant"
"Ringbum Millipede Muncher Ant"