Everything that my friends told me when I was young makes sense now:

"You're very smart but why are you not studying hard?"

Uhhhh, I had to wait until Canada to find out the answer...

:(

Getting discriminated against didn't make me think about anything else than suicide back in Turkey...

So I intentionally gave up on everything, I thought it was impossible to fix my life, I was like "I will kill myself one day let's just live the day" but I didn't do it and now I'm suffering more.

I wish I joined LGBT spaces online, wish I knew the power of encryption, and stopped being paranoid...

I could fix my life and be happy... Idk...

I could be a beautiful girl...

@anon98

It's easy to get lost in the past and what we wish we could have done.

If it helps, you couldn't have ever done this things.

If you could have done them, you would have.

We beat ourselves up for so many years over what we wish we could have done.

But then we realised we were AuDHD, which put our life on hard mode. It wasn't even possible to get diagnoses of autism and ADHD until the DSM-5, which was released in March 2013... by which time we were already 29.

We're still struggling, but we're trying to let go of the internalised shame, and to accept that we couldn't just try harder.

AuDHD & Shame - Why So Many AuDHD Adults Feel Broken (What Shame Does to Autistic + ADHD Adults)

Just Try Harder? - Burnout in Autism and ADHD (Why “Just Try Harder” Was Never the Answer)

@SleepyCatten you are right...

I was always planning to move abroad for my own safety, and I gave up on everything in that shithole so...

18 was the earliest I could transition and at least I did it.

You are right. Turkiye is already fucked right now, everyone is living with their families etc. which means even if I trooned out at age 15, I would be stuck in poverty regardless of my career.

Or maybe even worse idk... Yeah, you are right.

I could be a youngshit only if I was born in a stable country so I should stop blaming myself.