Everything that my friends told me when I was young makes sense now:

"You're very smart but why are you not studying hard?"

Uhhhh, I had to wait until Canada to find out the answer...

:(

Getting discriminated against didn't make me think about anything else than suicide back in Turkey...

So I intentionally gave up on everything, I thought it was impossible to fix my life, I was like "I will kill myself one day let's just live the day" but I didn't do it and now I'm suffering more.

I wish I joined LGBT spaces online, wish I knew the power of encryption, and stopped being paranoid...

I could fix my life and be happy... Idk...

I could be a beautiful girl...

@anon98

It's easy to get lost in the past and what we wish we could have done.

If it helps, you couldn't have ever done this things.

If you could have done them, you would have.

We beat ourselves up for so many years over what we wish we could have done.

But then we realised we were AuDHD, which put our life on hard mode. It wasn't even possible to get diagnoses of autism and ADHD until the DSM-5, which was released in March 2013... by which time we were already 29.

We're still struggling, but we're trying to let go of the internalised shame, and to accept that we couldn't just try harder.

AuDHD & Shame - Why So Many AuDHD Adults Feel Broken (What Shame Does to Autistic + ADHD Adults)

Just Try Harder? - Burnout in Autism and ADHD (Why “Just Try Harder” Was Never the Answer)

@SleepyCatten you are right...

I was always planning to move abroad for my own safety, and I gave up on everything in that shithole so...

18 was the earliest I could transition and at least I did it.

You are right. Turkiye is already fucked right now, everyone is living with their families etc. which means even if I trooned out at age 15, I would be stuck in poverty regardless of my career.

Or maybe even worse idk... Yeah, you are right.

I could be a youngshit only if I was born in a stable country so I should stop blaming myself.

@anon98

It's easier to say than do, but you've already managed to escape, and at the first chance you could.

We're proud of you for that.

You cannot undo your own past, but you can try to do the best you can do (which is whatever you're doing right now) to be yourself and enjoy the one life you get.

We know we only get this one chance. We'll do the best we can to help others, be as kind as we can (and stop being as much of a dick), and try to find some joy if we can whilst trying to survive.

@SleepyCatten true, it took me 4 years to learn everything that I just learned so instead of going stealth, I want to help other baby trans people.

A 26-year-old trans woman made me transition at age 18, and I will make others transition younger.

@anon98

All we can do is be there for others.

We can't make them do anything, but we can give them resources, tools, and guides, and show them what is possible.

Go ahead in the dark tunnel and light torches for those who follow.

@SleepyCatten if that trans woman didn't force me to transition ASAP, I would transition too late I guess.

So we really have to force trans people/eggs to start HRT ASAP.

I wasn't sure at the beginning anyways but I'm proud of myself for starting HRT once I couldn't deny the fact that I'm trans.

@anon98

We have to disagree there.

We shouldn't force anybody to do anything. It's like the Matrix: we can only show them the door.

We can help them along, answer concerns, and give them a little push in terms of motivational sentiments, but we can't and shouldn't outright make them do anything.

We don't crack eggs: we build nests, so that they can hatch.

Many trans+ folx are ADHD or AuDHD, so being told what to do could even trigger oppositional defiance.

Not to mention that many of us have major trauma, so being outright told what to do could cause more harm than good 🥺

You can gently encourage, support, and guide, but when it comes to transition, each person has to choose their path.

Bodily autonomy means having the right to choose. We have to respect that, even if we disagree.