Lesbian Death Bed

5
sospx: so anyway you're not the boss of us
sospx: you can't tell us what to do
sospx: i mean ha ha like what are you even going to do
sospx: like excommunicate us or something ha ha
Pope Leo: yeah, you're excommunicated
sospx: [surprised pikachu face]

4
Society of st pius x: anyway you're not even our real pope
sospx: it's not like we even have to listen to you
sospx: you're not the boss of us
sospx: hey pope leo does this bug you
sospx: we're not touching youuu ha ha

3
Blatty: this is just like during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, when many Shubs and Zulls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!
Blatty: don't act so confused
Blatty: you all should have learned about that in CCD

2
Blatty: this is like when the blessed council of garbanza rectified the confluence of the discalced silurians in 1232!
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Blatty: c'mon it's so obvious!
Blatty: it's like a one to one correlation!
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Blatty: i don't know how you can't see the parallels

1
William Peter Blatty: OMG did you guys hear
Poe: what?
Blatty: the society of st. pius X has schismed from the mother church!
Blatty: this could be the biggest interdoctrinal ecumenitestimal since the integral convergence of the helgrimite blasphemy at the diet of dendronal in 1536!!
Poe:
King:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Barker:

11
Blatty: enemies? who could possibly hate my beloved Chicago pope?!
[meanwhile]
Peter Thiel: [sweating like a baked ham, eyes ping ponging] the Chicago pope is in league with the gay trans catboy jews of the Chinese communist party and the space mutants , in conjunction with the RAND corporation, to elect greta Thunberg as Chicago antichrist
Dan Simmons: sounds legit

10
Pope Leo: that's right
Pope Leo: i'm the Chicago pope
Pope Leo: i don't care who's toes i step on
Pope Leo: i'm gonna make a lotta enemies
Pope Leo: like when theoden of rohan lead the rohirrim at the battle of the pelennor fields to save minas tiri
Pope Leo: yeah it's just like dat

9
Pope Leo: you're all schismed now
Pope Leo: an if you wanna come back, you gotta write "i am very very sorry for rejecting Vatican II" a hundred million times
Pope Leo: IN INK
sospx: nooooo we can't not be mad about Vatican ii
sospx: you don't understanddddd
sospx: we really hate jewsss
Pope Leo: ey then you can all get fucked
Pope Leo: i'm da Chicago pope!

8
sospx: no fair!! no fair!!
sospx: we shouldn't have to listen to the pope to be catholic!
sospx: that's not how it works!
Pope Leo: eyyy who here's got da papal infallibility?
sospx: [mumbles]
Pope Leo: what's dat? speak up
sospx: you
Pope Leo: you're damn right it's me

7
Pope Leo: see these society of st pius x jabronis wanna play hardball?
Pope Leo: i just ask myself, what would Gandalf do
Pope Leo: would he just let the necromancer secretly regain his orc-hold strength at dol Guldur after the downfall of númenor?
Pope Leo: and i thought
Pope Leo: no he wouldn't!
JRR Tolkien: finally! someone who understands my work!

6
sospx: y
sospx: you can't do that!
sospx: the last pope would NEVER have done that!!
Pope Leo: yeah i ain't da last pope
Pope Leo: i'm from Chicago