8
sospx: no fair!! no fair!!
sospx: we shouldn't have to listen to the pope to be catholic!
sospx: that's not how it works!
Pope Leo: eyyy who here's got da papal infallibility?
sospx: [mumbles]
Pope Leo: what's dat? speak up
sospx: you
Pope Leo: you're damn right it's me

9
Pope Leo: you're all schismed now
Pope Leo: an if you wanna come back, you gotta write "i am very very sorry for rejecting Vatican II" a hundred million times
Pope Leo: IN INK
sospx: nooooo we can't not be mad about Vatican ii
sospx: you don't understanddddd
sospx: we really hate jewsss
Pope Leo: ey then you can all get fucked
Pope Leo: i'm da Chicago pope!

10
Pope Leo: that's right
Pope Leo: i'm the Chicago pope
Pope Leo: i don't care who's toes i step on
Pope Leo: i'm gonna make a lotta enemies
Pope Leo: like when theoden of rohan lead the rohirrim at the battle of the pelennor fields to save minas tiri
Pope Leo: yeah it's just like dat

11
Blatty: enemies? who could possibly hate my beloved Chicago pope?!
[meanwhile]
Peter Thiel: [sweating like a baked ham, eyes ping ponging] the Chicago pope is in league with the gay trans catboy jews of the Chinese communist party and the space mutants , in conjunction with the RAND corporation, to elect greta Thunberg as Chicago antichrist
Dan Simmons: sounds legit

@bitterkarella

Leo asking what would Gandalf do is the point I snorted out loud and woke the wife. So - fair play on that.

@bitterkarella
Therapist: Peter, are the gay trans catboy jews of the CCP in the room with us right now?
Peter: Don't be silly
Therapist: okay, then
Peter: they're living in George Soros' basement